Leaving a place you’ve lived is a bittersweet feeling, at least for me. While excited for the adventure that lies ahead, there’s a sentimentality for the experiences and people who shaped my life there. We have just departed Shanghai, after two pretty incredible years. This was my first stab at living abroad and I think it was a resounding success! There were some challenges to expat life in China but many wonderful aspects too.
Things I’ll Miss:
The People
I have made some lifelong friends in China, and while many of them have also moved on to new adventures, I will always look back fondly on our time together. From spa days and margaritas to exploring lesser-known parks and temples, these moments left an indelible impression on my Shanghai experience.
The Food
Before moving to Shanghai, I wasn’t a fan of “Chinese” food, the bland over-salted dishes served in the West. But real Chinese food turned out to be an absolute treat! The cuisine is so varied, from the numbing heat of Sichuan to the subtle sweetness of Shanghainese, that my taste buds were tantalized from day one. I discovered a hidden passion for all things spicy as well as a newfound love of Hunan spareribs and crispy lotus root. More than anything, I’ll miss those succulent soup dumplings.
Rock Star Treatment
Non-Asian foreigners are still a novelty in China, especially far from the big cities. The more un-Chinese you look, the more attention you will get. As a blonde with fair skin, I’ve had my photo taken more times than I can count, often with visibly excited Chinese who perhaps can’t wait to show their families in the village the strange creature they’ve seen. I know some expats dislike the extra attention, but I’m not going to lie – I got a big kick out of it. As someone who was teased in school for being pale, it was flattering to be on the receiving end of so much praise.
Cultural Quirks
I am really going to miss walking around Shanghai because every day was a new adventure and I never knew what I’d see. Someone could have parked their motorbike on the sidewalk to sell cages of bunnies off the back, while a family had set up an estate sale on tables nearby. Groups of ladies often organized dance parties in parks and men napped in some highly unusual places. Laundry was hung from every available surface, with racy underpants displayed for all the world to see. A bulldozer sometimes rumbled down a quaint backstreet on the way to a construction site and workers could often be found climbing precariously up bamboo scaffolding.
Haggling
As exhausting as bargaining with vendors can sometimes be, there is something deeply satisfying about getting them to lower the asking price. I don’t think the clerks at Banana Republic will be as appreciative of my hard-earned haggling skills. But if I ever need to buy a car, the sales guy better be on his toes!
Custom-made Clothes
Shanghai has some Western-brand stores like The Gap and H&M, but I thought it was much more fun to have clothes made at the fabric market. Each stall displays example garments styles out front, though I found things often turned out best when I took something from my own closet for the seamstresses to copy. After the style was agreed on, ladies would take my measurements and tell me to come back in one week. Not everything I had made was a winner, but the experience of choosing the fabric and chatting with the sales girls more than made up for any disappointment with the finished pieces.
Miming My Way Through Conversations
Mandarin is an intimidating language, and rightly so. I failed miserably in my halfhearted attempt to learn it, but did gain enough of a vocabulary to get through daily encounters. My first trip to the tailor was particularly entertaining, as I had to explain the work I wanted done to someone without a lick of English. A visiting American friend was duly impressed with my ability to have intricate framing done with the Chinese word for “this” and lots of pointing. It’s amazing what a smile and some hand gestures can accomplish!
Babies in Split Pants
While more common in rural parts of the country, there are still quite a few baby butt cheeks on display in Shanghai. I have yet to figure out how the parents keep from getting wet on all the time, but the kids are adorable nonetheless.
What I Won’t Miss
The Traffic
Vietnam has a reputation for having fearsome traffic, but I can say with experience that it’s got nothing on Shanghai. This city has the craziest traffic of any place I’ve ever been. Cars turning right never stop and just blow full speed around corners even if they technically have a red light. This makes crossing the street a challenge, even with a pedestrian crosswalk and green walk symbol. Taxis are among the worst offenders, brazenly crossing over three lanes of traffic to make a turn and honking the horn to let you know they mean business. Many drivers have a special talent for weaving in and out of traffic at high speeds while talking on the phone and smoking a cigarette.
The Pollution
Shanghai’s air pollution is nowhere near as bad as Beijing’s, but it is still a troubling issue that negatively impacts the quality of life here. Some days the pollution was so thick I could barely see anything out the window! That’s when I’d stay inside and catch up on my favorite TV shows. On a so-called “blue-sky day,” however, the city is absolutely gorgeous!
The Spitting
Blowing one’s nose into a tissue is considered rude in China, but spitting seems perfectly acceptable. Many people spit unabashedly, from middle-aged women to trendy young men. Time and place seem not to matter much, either. I’ve seen (and heard) people spitting in shopping malls, train cars and even airplanes. ‘No Spitting’ signs are popping up in metro stations, but this well-ingrained habit may be hard to break.
The Song “The Rose”
On street corners across town, men sell records from portable carts. Every cart plays the same two songs, over and over, and one of them happens to be ‘The Rose.’ After two years, I never want to hear that song again!
Oh China…it’s funny, even the things I didn’t think I’d miss I do on occasion (like traffic! how I miss chaotic traffic) — by the way is that photo of you?? I realized I have no idea what you look like after all this time!
Yep, that’s me! I try to sneak in a photo every once in a while 🙂 Life outside Shanghai is going to be dull, that’s for sure! It’s strange to go outside and hear nothing but birds and crickets. And I’m already craving xiaolongbao and its only been a week!
I really enjoyed my two visits to China. I will miss the soup dumplings!!!!
My first taxi ride scared me to death even though you had warned me. I
will miss the flower market and the fabric market. The old market and the
haggling was a fun experience. Hopefully Latvia will provide lots of new
and fun experiences we can share.
We sure saw and did a lot on your visits! Latvia will be quieter for sure, but the newness of seeing that part of the world will make it exciting. Can’t wait for our next adventures!
Awwww, I’ll miss you too, lady! Your list pretty much sums up a lot of my last four and a half years in Shanghai, right down to The Rose overdose! Hopefully we’ll be able to see you in Latvia next year!
I’ll investigate options for massages and cocktails as soon as I get there 🙂
I’m gonna miss you tons too girl! 🙁 For me, I’d add the crowds. I use to find it kind of neat to weave in and out, but for some reason, I’m now daunted just going to a supermarket (but shopping in Wuxi is different than Shanghai). Here I I have to contend with stadium sized malls and the grocery store is always chaos. Blech. And I’m use to crowds having lived in India for god’s sakes, but it feels different. I think you left at just the right time! Onwards to new adventures. 🙂
I’m with you, I’m not going to miss the crowds AT ALL. Fortunately I don’t think that will be a concern in Latvia 🙂
Great list! That picture of the smog in Shanghai is shocking! Oh and the spitting…GROSS! It was the noise made in anticipation of the spitting that really rubbed me up the wrong way. I even heard someone spitting on an overnight bus. I tried not to think too hard about where it landed.
Oh I know! I will be having nightmares about that sound for a long time.
I’m surprised you will miss the split pants. That and the shoving and pushing are the only things that unnerve me about China. Everything else I can somehow deal with.
I kind of got into the pushing and shoving. I got some frustrations out pushing my way onto the metro 🙂
It definitely is fun to push and shove and take my frustrations out. Certain days I’m just a little tired of it and just don’t want to be manhandled by 26 million people.
Great roundup! It’s weird how much a location becomes part of you, even for a short time. I love living in Saigon, but I do miss some things about Phnom Penh like my go-to foot massage place for $5 and the little row of Chinese restaurants where dishes were around $3.50. Can’t wait to read about your Latvian adventures, tho!
Don’t even get me started on how much I’m going to miss the massages! My shoulders are sad just thinking about it.
This is great, and we have a lot of similarities with Taiwan…especially the rock star treatment! We were bittersweet to leave Taiwan, even though we knew it was time for us to continue our adventures. We actually have two posts written, one with things we will miss and one with things we won’t, we are just waiting for the right time to publish them haha! Your picture of the air pollution is insane tho! Glad we didn’t have to deal with that to be honest! Excited to follow your journey post-shanghai!
Thanks! I still have a ton to write about Shanghai, but will try to slip in some new stuff too 🙂 I can’t wait to read about everything you miss from Taiwan!
Well done for being good at haggling, I’m honestly not capable of doping it, no matter how hard I try.
I never lived abroad in any Asian countries, but I guess I really wouldn’t miss the spitting, it’s one of the things I really cannot stand.
The first few times I tried were disastrous! It took a visit from an Egyptian friend to show me how to do it properly. The spitting is really awful, though it’s the sound more than anything. I just never got used to it!
I think no matter whether you loved or loathed a place, if you spend enough time in a location, leaving will always be somewhat bittersweet. I was really ready to leave Nashville (had been for years!) when we finally left, but I still found it really emotional and months later definitely found myself wistful about things that I definitely didn’t value at the time. On the trip whenever I have pangs of being homesick I find they tend to be for Nashville, not Toronto!
I know what you mean. I lived in NYC for a number of years, and though I was ready when we moved on, it’s the one place I miss more than any other. Now that we we’re back in the States, NYC is the first trip we have planned and I cannot wait!
Great post and I couldn’t agree more. Every time I leave China I miss my Chinese friends, morning baozi for my breakfast and of course the traffic. I am happy you had a great time and wish you bon voyage. China will surely miss you as well!
Thanks Agness! It’s so strange to be gone from China. Life here in the U.S. is so quiet! But we will have new adventures soon enough. Hopefully we’ll get to meet up in Europe!!
I love this post! Great snaps! No Spitting sign is hilarious!
Shanghai is on my To-Do-Go list since I was a child 🙂 Hopefully I’ll be there soon!
Thanks! I do hope you get to visit Shanghai. It’s an amazing city!
Weird – I’ve also just left China after 2 years! It is definitely a wonderful yet insane place to live and I will miss it on the whole. You’ve summed up the things I won’t miss as well…(scowls as I’ve yet to do a post on that subject 😉 )
Best of luck with what you’re doing next!
Thanks! I’ll be in the States for a while, catching up with family and friends, and then it’s off to Europe next year! What are your travel plans?
China is on my list, of course because that’s where pandas live! I had no idea blowing your nose is considered rude, so I better study up if/when we go.
Italy is my adopted home and there will definitely be a list of things I’ll miss when we move. But, like you with Shanghai, there will be ones I certainly won’t – being eaten alive by mosquitoes, rain ALL the time, and Internet that is barely dial-up speed.
Nose blowing is actually considered rude in a lot of Asian countries, but China is the only place where the problem is solved by spitting 🙂
I don’t associate mosquitoes with Italy so I’ll have to remember to pack my Off! spray when we visit (probably 2015). I can’t wait to put together a whole new list of things I love about Latvia!!
Hi,
May I know where do you get your clothes custom made? Do you have any favorite tailors/stores that you could recommend? And are custom made clothes expensive? I am new in Shanghai =)
Thanks!
Cheers,
Vivian
I always went to the South Bund Soft Spun Material Market and had pretty good luck. On average I paid US$25-$45 for dresses and tunics. I’m going to do a post that recommends particular stalls in the near future so stay tuned!
I really didn’t like all the attention I got as a foreigner in Asia, haha…
So where are you off to next?
I’ll be in Virginia for a while, catching up with family and friends. Then next year we’re moving to Europe. People usually think I’m Russian (I even overheard some Chinese saying as much) so it will be strange in blend in haha!